This is the translation of the talk that aired on Music Japan in two parts. The longer segment was on 16th November 2007, and the end was played on 23rd November 2007. Since the individual parts are rather short, and they are obviously all recorded at the same time, I decided to combine them for translation purposes.
Since I am working from the video, it is always possible that I may have misheard something.

— BEGIN —

Host : We welcome L’Arc~en~Ciel to the studio! Hello! *claps*
Members : Hi~

Host : I understand that last year marked your 15th anniversary.
hyde, tetsu : Yes.
Host : Then you travelled to many locations on a long tour. Are there any memorable incidents that stand out in your minds? ken-san, anything?

ken : I have to do MCs, you know?
Host : Yes.
ken : Talking to the crowd in the middle of the concert, yeah, well I didn’t have anything to say.
Host : I see.
ken : So I wondered what I was gonna do, and I asked hyde. Let’s see, where were we again? Iwate? Anyway, he said “Why don’t you eat wanko-soba?” (1)
*some laughing*
ken : So I ate wanko-soba. During the show.
Host : During the show?
ken : Yeah. So I put on the apron and had an old lady come up and serve it to me, then I went “Okay, next song!”
Host : You were eating it on stage?
ken : Sure was. So I called out the next song and got started, ready to get into it, let’s go… Then I turned and saw hyde was laughing at me. I didn’t know why, but it’s because I was still wearing the apron.
*laughter*
ken : I couldn’t take it off during the song…
hyde : Cause he’s got his hands full playing guitar and we need to keep going.
ken : So I was dressed to eat soba… *mimes playing*
Host : *laughs*
ken : Like, “What the hell am I doing?”
*laughter*
ken : I didn’t mean to do anything that weird.

Host : Next, tetsu-san, was there any show that was memorable for you?
tetsu : I got a cramp in my leg, up on stage.
Host : What? You had a cramp?
tetsu : Yes.
Host : What happened to give you a cramp?
tetsu : Nothing, I was just playing normally, then in the middle of a song… well you know how when I play I have both hands kinda low, I was doing this, stretched a little *demonstrates*.
Host : *laughs* So you pulled it?
tetsu : But I couldn’t let it show on my face… so I kept on looking cool.
Host : Hiding it?
tetsu : Yes.
Host : Didn’t the others notice?
hyde : No, no, he’s such a pro you know.
*laughter*
ken : This is the first I’ve heard of it.
Host : Is that so?
ken : Good story.

Host : And yukihiro-san, your body fat percentage is 4%, I’ve heard. Is that true?
yukihiro : Sometimes the measurement comes out to 5% actually.
hyde : It’s not measurable.
Host : Is that so…
hyde : He doesn’t eat. He doesn’t eat food.
Host : Don’t you all get together to eat something tasty after a show?
hyde : We do.
Host : And…
ken : We make him a “yukkie set”.
tetsu : We pick something and he has to eat it all himself.
hyde : We go to an izakaya (2) or something, you know how you can order all sorts of things to eat? So we stopped eating everything that comes out. We go “THIS part is just for yukkie,” and tell him to eat it.
yukihiro : I’m being careful now.
Host : You need to make sure you eat.
yukihiro : Yes. Everyone’s worrying about me…
Host : Please take care of yourself.
yukihiro : Thank you. *laughs*
Host : Eating is good for you.

Host : Now hyde-san, a little while ago during the tour, I heard that you snuck out into the area where the fans were, near the entrance to the venue. What happened?
hyde : When there’s a concert, I always hear about how people who look just like me are out in the crowd. “There’s someone who looks like hyde-san, acting like him”, things like that. So I figured that if I go out there myself, they won’t know the difference, right?
Host : *laughs* Because of the lookalikes…
hyde : They’re there too, yeah. I thought it would be okay. So I said I’d do it some time. The staff said “Okay but only this once, hyde-san!” Okay. I put on my sunglasses, and I had a L’Arc~en~Ciel paper bag in my hand, and I was talking on my cell phone, then went walking around for five minutes or so. There was a big crowd.
Host : Of course.
hyde: This was an hour before the show. I knew I couldn’t cause a panic. So I was nervous. Talking to our manager on the phone. People would walk right up close to me, so I’d talk louder into the phone.
Host : Didn’t anyone spot you? Or at least wonder?
hyde : I could see in some people’s eyes that they suspected…
Host : Didn’t anyone ask?
ken : They must have thought “No way”.
hyde : So I was in the crowd for a while, heart pounding. It wasn’t until the moment I went back into the restricted area that they went “WAAAI!”
Host : Ah, so that’s how they knew it was you, after all.
hyde : “He was right there”.
Host : Mission successful.
hyde : Big success.

— The rest of the talk was aired on 23rd November 2007 —

hyde : Weren’t you mistaken for a member of GLAY?
tetsu : Yeah, I was.
Host : Oh?
tetsu : I was mistaken for a member of GLAY.
Host : Is that so.
tetsu : It was like “Ah! I’ve seen you before!” So I thought “Oh no, I’ve been spotted”… They went “You’re from GLAY!”
Host : *laughs*
tetsu : I asked which member of GLAY they thought I was, and they said “You’re TARO right!?”
*laughter*
tetsu : TARO! Who the hell is that?!

hyde : A long time ago in Niigata, hey you were there too! What was it again?
tetsu : *laughs* Oh yeah.
Host : You were with tetsu-san?
hyde : Yeah, and the shop owner was looking embarrassed, but he came up to me to ask… I thought “Ah, I’ve been spotted!” but he went on and asked “Are you Okuda Tamio-san?”
Host : *laughs* Eeeh?

Host : Now, your first album in two and half years, KISS, has just been released, so I’d like to ask about the title. It was hyde-san who chose it, right?
hyde : Yes, yes.
Host : What meaning were you intending it to have?
hyde : It’s like “I wanna smooch”, you know. That feeling. Yeah, KISS.

Host : And also when you make an album, how do you decide on the song order?
ken : The song order… well each of us writes up the order he thinks we should use, right. So we take those ideas and try them all out. It takes a really long time.
Host : So you put them in order and listen, then try it out another way…
ken : Right. So we can be like “This needs changing” or like… hey it took about a whole day, right?

– cut to performance –

Transcribed and translated by Natalie Arnold.

1. A speciality of northeast Japan, wanko-soba is a way of serving noodles where the customers get one bite tossed into their bowl at a time. The customer keeps eating the bite of noodles and getting another thrown in by the server until the customer is too full to keep eating. It is rather messy. Go back.

2. Izakaya are a Japanese sort of pub that serve various small dishes along with alcohol. Fried foods, sushi, dumplings, noodles and meat are all available.Go back.